Stressed as a Kid, Overwhelmed as an Adult—How We Build Nervous System Resilience

We Weren't Taught to Manage Stress—We Were Expected to "Deal with It"

Growing up, many of us were told to "stop worrying," "toughen up," or "just deal with it." Stress wasn't seen as something that needed to be managed; it was simply part of life. Whether it was school pressure, social struggles, or sensory overload, we were often expected to push through without guidance on how to regulate our nervous systems.

Now, we understand that stress is more than just an emotional response—it’s a full-body experience that affects our nervous system, energy levels, and long-term well-being. The way we handled stress as kids shaped our adult responses, and for many of us, that means struggling with overwhelm, burnout, and sensory shutdown today.

The good news? We have the tools to do better. We can build nervous system resilience using movement, deep pressure, and regulation strategies that help us release stress instead of storing it in our bodies.

Childhood Stress Wasn’t Taken Seriously

Think back to your childhood. Were you ever told:

• “Calm down, it’s not a big deal.”

• “Stop being so dramatic.”

• “You’ll be fine—just don’t think about it.”

If so, you’re not alone. Many of us grew up without being taught how to navigate big feelings, stress, or sensory overload. Instead of regulation strategies, we were given dismissive phrases that left us feeling unheard and unsupported.

The problem? Stress doesn’t just disappear when ignored. Instead, it builds up, storing itself in our nervous system, muscles, and even our sleep patterns. Over time, this can lead to nervous system burnout, making it harder to manage stress as adults.

Why Some of Us Struggle With Overwhelm Today

The way our nervous system processed stress as children set the stage for how we handle it now. If we were constantly in a heightened state of stress with no tools to regulate, our bodies adapted by staying in fight, flight, or freeze mode for longer than they should. This leads to common adult stress responses like:

• Sensory shutdown – When noise, light, or touch become overwhelming, and the only way to cope is to withdraw or shut down.

• Chronic fatigue – Stress drains our energy, making even small tasks feel exhausting.

• Irritability and anxiety – A nervous system stuck in overdrive makes it hard to relax or feel at ease.

• Overworking or overcommitting – Many of us learned to push through rather than listen to our bodies’ cues.

Without proper regulation, these stress patterns repeat into adulthood, making it difficult to stay balanced and resilient.

Nervous System Burnout—What Happens When Stress Builds Up

Our nervous system is designed to handle stress in short bursts, followed by recovery. But when stress is ongoing and unmanaged, it leads to nervous system burnout. Signs of this include:

• Feeling emotionally drained all the time.

• Becoming overstimulated easily by sounds, lights, or crowds.

• Struggling to sleep, even when exhausted.

• Feeling "numb" or disconnected from emotions.

• Frequently experiencing headaches, muscle tension, or digestive issues.

These are all signs that our nervous system is stuck in survival mode. But instead of ignoring stress like we were taught as kids, we can now take active steps to reset and recharge.

Then vs. Now: How We Approach Stress Differently

Instead of ignoring stress, we now understand the importance of actively releasing it through movement, deep pressure, and sensory regulation.

Practical Strategies to Build Nervous System Resilience

Now that we know stress isn’t just in our heads, but a full-body experience, we can take steps to help our nervous system recover and strengthen over time. Here’s how:

1. Movement to Release Stress

Stress gets stored in our muscles and nervous system, which is why movement is one of the best ways to release it.

• Take a brisk walk, dance, or stretch to signal to your nervous system that it's safe to relax.

• Rocking, swaying, or gentle bouncing can provide calming vestibular input.

• Short movement breaks throughout the day prevent stress from building up.

2. Deep Pressure for Instant Calm

Deep pressure touch activates the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling safety and relaxation.

• Use a weighted blanket or compression tools to ground the body.

• Try firm hugs, deep breathing with hand pressure, or body squeezes.

• Foam rollers, weighted lap pads, or even lying under a heavy pillow can help the body feel anchored.

3. Sensory Strategies to Prevent Overload

Managing sensory input before it becomes overwhelming is key to nervous system regulation.

• Reduce background noise or use white noise to create a calming environment.

• Adjust lighting (dim lights, blue-light filters) to ease eye strain.

• Wear comfortable clothing that doesn’t irritate your skin.

4. Nervous System Reset Techniques

When stress accumulates, these quick strategies help reset the body and mind:

• Cold exposure – Splashing cold water on your face or holding an ice pack on your neck can activate the vagus nerve, shifting you out of fight-or-flight mode.

• Deep breathing – Slow, intentional breaths help regulate the nervous system.

• Grounding exercises – Pressing your feet into the floor or using textured objects can bring the body into the present moment.

Breaking the Cycle for the Next Generation

We may not have been taught nervous system regulation as kids, but we can break the cycle for our children. Instead of telling them to “stop worrying” or “just calm down,” we can offer real tools to help them regulate:

• Encourage movement instead of forced stillness.

• Teach deep pressure techniques to help with anxiety.

• Create sensory-friendly environments that promote relaxation.

The more we understand how stress impacts the nervous system, the more we can build resilience—for ourselves and for the next generation.

What’s One Stress Response You Have Today That Started in Childhood?

Let’s compare! Drop your experience in the comments and share how you manage stress differently now. #NervousSystemSupport #StressRelief #KnowBetterDoBetter