They Did Their Best—Now We Know Better

Understanding Our Nervous System and Why It Changes Everything

Growing up, many of us were told to “just calm down,” “stop overreacting,” or “go to sleep already.” But no one explained how to do these things. For years, we assumed that struggling to sit still, bedtime battles, or getting overwhelmed easily was just “being difficult.” Now, we know better—and science is proving what many of us felt all along: it was never just about behavior. It was about regulation.

Our parents did the best they could with what they knew. They weren’t equipped with the knowledge we have today about sensory processing, nervous system regulation, and the powerful impact of movement and deep pressure. They didn’t realize that what looked like stubbornness or meltdowns was often our bodies struggling to find balance.

Now, we know that calming down isn’t a matter of willpower. It’s about giving the body the right tools to regulate. And that’s where sensory strategies come in.

What We Thought Was “Bad Behavior” Was Really Nervous System Overload

As kids, many of us:

• Fidgeted constantly or had trouble sitting still.

• Needed to rock, hum, or tap to feel calm.

• Fought bedtime or couldn’t fall asleep easily.

• Got easily overwhelmed by noises, lights, or textures.

• Were labeled as “picky eaters” or “sensitive.”

To the outside world, these things looked like defiance, difficulty, or fussiness. But now, research shows that these behaviors often signaled a nervous system in distress.

Then vs. Now: How Our Understanding Has Evolved

How Sensory Regulation Changes Everything

With the knowledge we have today, we can shift from behavior-focused parenting to nervous system-informed support. That means:

• Instead of forcing stillness, we embrace movement as a tool for focus and self-regulation.

• Instead of assuming bedtime battles are about defiance, we recognize the role of deep pressure, sensory input, and transition strategies.

• Instead of dismissing meltdowns as overreactions, we understand them as signs of a dysregulated nervous system needing support.

The good news? Science-backed strategies like movement, deep pressure, and sensory input aren’t just useful for kids—they help adults, too.

We’re Breaking the Cycle

Many of us grew up without the tools to manage stress, sensory overload, or emotional regulation. As adults, we might:

• Feel overwhelmed by noise, light, or textures but have no idea why.

• Struggle to sleep without a weighted blanket, fan, or background noise.

• Need movement (pacing, fidgeting, stretching) to stay focused.

• Find ourselves using the same phrases our parents did: “Just calm down!”—even though we know it’s not that simple.

The difference now? We have the knowledge to do better. We understand the role of sensory input in regulation, and we have tools to help our children (and ourselves) manage stress, sleep better, and feel calmer.

What You Can Do Today

• Observe Your Own Sensory Needs – Do you sleep better with deep pressure? Feel more focused after movement? Recognizing your own nervous system patterns can help you better support your kids.

• Offer Sensory Strategies Instead of Demands – Instead of saying, “Just sit still,” try offering a fidget or movement break.

• Create a Sensory-Friendly Sleep Routine – Weighted blankets, gentle rocking, white noise, or stretching before bed can make all the difference.

The more we understand our nervous system, the better we can support calm, focus, and emotional balance—for both ourselves and our kids.

Join the Conversation

What’s one thing you struggled with as a child that you now understand was your nervous system trying to cope? Drop your experience in the comments—we’d love to hear from you!!