Why Stillness Feels So Hard Now: A Pediatric PT’s Guide to Calming an Overstimulated Nervous System (During the Holidays… and Always)
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As a pediatric physical therapist, I talk with families every day about something we rarely slow down to notice:
Stillness is getting harder.
Not just for kids but for teens, and adults, too.
We’re living in a world that asks our nervous systems to process more than they were designed for. Constant sound. Constant movement. Constant visual stimulation. Background noise we don’t even realize is there until we’re overwhelmed by it.
And then we wonder why it’s so difficult to settle, focus, rest, or shift into calm when we need to.
If you’ve ever thought:
“Why can’t my child sit still?”
“Why does bedtime feel so impossible?”
“Why do I feel so tense even when nothing is wrong?”
You’re not alone and your nervous system is giving you information.
Let’s break it down.
We Live in a World of Continuous Micro-Stimulation
Our parents and grandparents lived with natural waves of stimulation and quiet.
But today’s world?
It runs on constant input (thank you Technology)
Even when nothing dramatic is happening, the body and brain are absorbing:
- background music
- TVs left on
- scrolling sounds
- bright screens
- constant notifications
- fast-paced games
- lights that never dim
- emotional noise in busy households
- school environments with no sensory breaks
We are rarely — rarely — in a place where our senses experience true stillness.
This means our nervous system has fewer opportunities to drop into the parasympathetic state (rest, digest, regulate, reset).
Instead, kids, teens, and adults are spending hours (or full days) in a constant low-level alert state without realizing it.
Not panic.
Not meltdown.
But simmering.
And simmering bodies don’t settle easily.
Why the Nervous System Struggles to ‘Switch to Calm’ on Command
One of the most common things I tell parents is:
You cannot expect the brain to settle if the body isn’t ready.
Kids aren’t refusing to calm down.
They’re not being difficult.
They’re not “bad at listening.”
Their bodies aren’t physiologically prepared for stillness.
To downshift into calm, the nervous system needs:
- predictable rhythm
- lower sensory load
- deep pressure
- slow movement
- reduced visual chaos
- consistency
- quiet pockets of time
If these things aren’t happening throughout the day, “calm time” becomes a giant leap — not a transition.
And During the Holidays? Everything Intensifies.
Holidays bring:
- louder gatherings
- heightened emotions
- disrupted routines
- inconsistent sleep
- sugar
- travel
- new environments
- more expectations
- more noise
- more visual chaos
It’s joyful, yes but physiologically overwhelming for kids and adults.
During this season, most families unknowingly operate in a higher sympathetic (fight-or-flight) state.
That’s why you see more:
- meltdowns
- restlessness
- bedtime battles
- irritability
- emotional “crashes”
- zoning out
- avoidance behaviors
It’s not the holiday mood.
It’s the nervous system running hot.
The Good News: The Nervous System Can Be Guided Back to Calm
Stillness is a skill and like any skill, it improves with practice, consistency, and the right supports.
Here are the strategies I teach families to help bodies become ready for calm:
1. Reduce Background Noise Wherever You Can
Turn off the TV no one is watching.
Turn music down or off during transitions.
Lower the volume in the car.
Quiet is not just peaceful it’s restorative.
2. Give the Body ‘Heavy Work’ Before Asking for Stillness
This includes:
- pushing/pulling objects
- wall push-ups
- carrying weighted items
- jumping
- crawling
- animal walks
- roll a soft ball on limbs
- squish with a cushion
This deep proprioceptive input is one of the fastest ways to organize the nervous system.
3. Slow, Rhythmic Movement Helps the Brain Settle
- rocking
- swaying
- slow-paced walking
- gentle vestibular input
Think: steady, predictable, non-jarring movement.
4. Deep Pressure Is a Calming Superpower
Weighted items, firm hugs, compression clothing, or targeted pressure help the body feel grounded and safe.
This is one of the reasons quiet moments feel easier with a weighted tool.
(And yes this is exactly why I created the Calmily Perfectly Weighted Pillow.)
5. Create Micro-Moments of Stillness Throughout the Day
Not long stretches.
Just tiny pockets of quiet:
- dim the lights for 3 minutes
- no talking for 1 minute
- 30 seconds of still hands on a soft object
- a quiet “reset corner”
These tiny resets build the nervous system’s tolerance for calm.
6. Prepare the Body BEFORE big moments
Before:
- church
- car rides
- holiday parties
- bedtime
- school concerts
- family gatherings
Give kids a few minutes of heavy work + deep pressure + reduced stimulation.
This doesn’t eliminate dysregulation but it lowers the baseline.
Why Stillness Matters
Stillness isn’t about compliance.
It’s not about “being quiet” or “behaving.”
Stillness is about:
- body awareness
- emotional safety
- nervous system stability
- the ability to shift states
- learning how to self-regulate
- healthy brain development
- the foundation for attention and connection
You’re not teaching your child how to “be calm.”
You’re teaching their nervous system how to find calm in a world that makes it harder every year.
A Tool for Today’s Overstimulated World
Deep pressure is one of the most powerful, research-backed ways to downshift the nervous system especially when overstimulation is constant.
That’s why the Calmily Perfectly Weighted Pillow was created:
- portable
- small
- supportive
- grounding
- easy to use anywhere
- made for kids, teens, and adults
It’s a calm tool for a world that never stops moving.
Final Thoughts
Stillness isn’t easy anymore.
Not for any of us.
But with awareness, small habits, and simple tools, we can help our kids and ourselves experience moments of quiet that support true rest, emotional health, and nervous system healing.
If you’d like more resources on calm + regulation, or want to learn more about the Calmily Perfectly Weighted Pillow, you can explore everything here on the blog.